Recently a random reader of my blog -- I use the word 'random' because I believe the reader happen to read my blog on a random selection -- commented saying, "you are judgmental one". I simply replied to her, "by saying me judgmental, aren't you realizing that you are judgmental (too)..?". She couldn't understand what I was saying, so she went on to blabber something else -- let's ignore the blabbering --.
I was surprised how such a simple derivation couldn't be understood. When one says the other person is judgmental, isn't that they are judging the other person by saying so, which by default makes them judgmental ? Why is it difficult so difficult to understand ?
To be honest, I wasn't offended having been marked as judgmental one. I tend to think nobody will because almost all of us judge people around us sometime or the other, which is part of human tenancy. I don't really know what's wrong with it. Mother Teresa said, "if we start judging people, we won't have time to love them". I somehow always believe that the statement should be taken as an advice to call for maturity rather than stop judging people because you really can't stop judging people. The mind does it unconsciously. Judging people need not necessarily be on negative aspect. I believe we judge people even when we say, "he is such a nice and sweet person". It is as equal to saying, "he is such a rude fellow".
The judging nature comes automatically to your mind when you start getting to know the person. What is really needed is, to look beyond what your mind judges. To feel compassionate towards the other person even when your judgment concludes something that isn't what you would favor. To have keep the judgment open, because people changes over a period of time -- on either sides. What is needed the most is the maturity to love them beyond what your subconscious mind judges them to be. That is called acceptance. At least that is what I think.
--
Paul Arockiam
I was surprised how such a simple derivation couldn't be understood. When one says the other person is judgmental, isn't that they are judging the other person by saying so, which by default makes them judgmental ? Why is it difficult so difficult to understand ?
To be honest, I wasn't offended having been marked as judgmental one. I tend to think nobody will because almost all of us judge people around us sometime or the other, which is part of human tenancy. I don't really know what's wrong with it. Mother Teresa said, "if we start judging people, we won't have time to love them". I somehow always believe that the statement should be taken as an advice to call for maturity rather than stop judging people because you really can't stop judging people. The mind does it unconsciously. Judging people need not necessarily be on negative aspect. I believe we judge people even when we say, "he is such a nice and sweet person". It is as equal to saying, "he is such a rude fellow".
The judging nature comes automatically to your mind when you start getting to know the person. What is really needed is, to look beyond what your mind judges. To feel compassionate towards the other person even when your judgment concludes something that isn't what you would favor. To have keep the judgment open, because people changes over a period of time -- on either sides. What is needed the most is the maturity to love them beyond what your subconscious mind judges them to be. That is called acceptance. At least that is what I think.
--
Paul Arockiam
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