Just saying !

There is nothing called true love.

There is love; or there is nothing. Love isn't like gold that comes in different form of purity. 'Purity' can't be an adjective to love. Love is just love.

--
Paul Arockiam

Being judgmental and more !

Recently a random reader of my blog -- I use the word 'random' because I believe the reader happen to read my blog on a random selection -- commented saying, "you are judgmental one". I simply replied to her, "by saying me judgmental, aren't you realizing that you are judgmental (too)..?". She couldn't understand what I was saying, so she went on to blabber something else -- let's ignore the blabbering --.

I was surprised how such a simple derivation couldn't be understood. When one says the other person is judgmental, isn't that they are judging the other person by saying so, which by default makes them judgmental ? Why is it difficult so difficult to understand ?

To be honest, I wasn't offended having been marked as judgmental one. I tend to think nobody will because almost all of us judge people around us sometime or the other, which is part of human tenancy. I don't really know what's wrong with it. Mother Teresa said, "if we start judging people, we won't have time to love them". I somehow always believe that the statement should be taken as an advice to call for maturity rather than stop judging people because you really can't stop judging people. The mind does it unconsciously. Judging people need not necessarily be on negative aspect. I believe we judge people even when we say, "he is such a nice and sweet person". It is as equal to saying, "he is such a rude fellow".

The judging nature comes automatically to your mind when you start getting to know the person. What is really needed is, to look beyond what your mind judges. To feel compassionate towards the other person even when your judgment concludes something that isn't what you would favor. To have keep the judgment open, because people changes over a period of time -- on either sides. What is needed the most is the maturity to love them beyond what your subconscious mind judges them to be. That is called acceptance. At least that is what I think.

--
Paul Arockiam

Just saying !

I think there is a reason why they say, "Don't say, just do it !!". In the process of saying, you end up perceiving as rude by showcasing your pride and also to get into more stressful situation -- a trap you have laid down for yourself. I see more disadvantage than finding motivation in the approach of 'say it before you do'.

One very reason why you should simply do it is because you must be doing something because you would like to do. Not because you would like to say it to the outside world loud and clear to get the attention. While that could very well be the purpose for many people, I tend to question such purpose for a person like me. I question what I gain, because I know the answer wouldn't be fulfilling in nature for a folk like me.

Secondly, I also think that you could focus more on what you want to do without any distractions by avoiding all such attention you may get by declaring your intentions much ahead of time.

Even in a war, I always think that the best strategy, sometimes, in conquering the kingdoms is simply attacking without declaring a war. You see, the purpose is to conquer, not to be nice to your enemies. By all means, they -- of course -- are responsible being alert all the time irrespective of whether or not someone has declared a war. Isn't it..?

--
Paul Arockiam

Inspired Reading and Inner Voice

Inspired Reading:

"You don't need to have it all figured out to move forward." [ Author Unknown ]

Inner voice:

I could very well relate this to my everyday ride on the road. When I look at a traffic jam ahead of me from a far distance, it would always appear like how am I going to cross this traffic jam. But when I move forward, I have managed to find one way or the other to keep myself moving forward in my motor bike. I often tell to myself about this traffic jam incidents whenever I feel stressed out on choosing the path ahead to move further, whenever the path in front of me does not have clarity. I tell to myself, "even when the mists surrounds, the more closer, you go the clearer the things become".

This is no joking. Most of the times, what gives us the sigh of burden is just hanging onto theories we read in books. We always say tell to ourselves, or to others, that these theories won't suit to practical life. The fact is, we have never put these theories onto our practical life to test their results. When you are struck, almost always you most probably will have only two options in front of you. Do something or do something else. I shorten that to say, 'Do something or do something'. The drop of water ought to be running on the ground to keep the energy going, irrespective of the ups and downs it may face on it's way. Most of the theories are already in our life trying to teach us something. Trying to make us realize something that we often miss to notice.

I always say, an observing mind makes life easier. At the least, it doesn't make the life harder, because life can't get any harder than what it is right now. On a lighter note, an observing mind will also makes the life interesting. It helps you see the beauty of all complexities, the way those complexities are managed, the way life is and the way life isn't.

With no further words to read or think through, I think we can start to live our life. The dawn is already here.

--
Paul Arockiam

So much to say about being good!

Being good is not good enough. But making someone accept that you are good is, a state you will never reach. Be good anyway, the least of best you could possibly be.

Again, remember that your goodness may not always be perceived as good at the other side for morality, which is subjective, defines what is good. Mind you, the morality always sets a high scale about good while receiving than giving.

People may take you for granted most of the time -- not all, if you are lucky -- for being good. But then isn't that the essence of being good..? People around are supposed to be free and understood. That is why, one chooses to be good. Isn't it..?

When a good person is gone, his absence is realized immediately. Because seeing a good person is not that easy. That's why everybody asks everyone else to be good. Good people are needed on earth because our ancestors have said that it rains in the places where good people live. But then nobody offers umbrella to a good person, because a good person is expected to offer things and never considered to be at receiving end, except of course appreciation to wake them up when they forget to be good.

I know of few good people. Actually more than just few. But I always wonder why it isn't raining where they live. Perhaps what I'm thinking as good may not be good enough. Or is the rain just a metaphor. It is pity that I don't clearly understand the language of our ancestors.

---

Paul Arockiam

What we deserve and what we don't !

It is surprising how some people strongly believe that they deserve a lot more than what has been offered to them in life. When one says, "why am I facing all these sorrows and sufferings, after all I deserve a better life for the kind of person I'm", I respond with a smile. I start thinking if it is their ignorance or greediness that makes them feel that way.

Everyone deserves something. True. I always wonder how one decides what they deserve when the scale of measurement is with someone else. Someone other than themselves.

Let me tell you some true stories. I used to get disappointed when a dog walks back silently after eating what I had thrown at it. I wondered how can a dog walk without even slipping a look of gratitude at me. These things have happened. When I throw them biscuits, they eat them as though I'm supposed to be giving them biscuits and then they walk away showing their back without even looking at me for a second. I think inside, "how rude! how can they be not have any gratitude towards someone voluntarily feeds them". The question still stay in my mind. But I think I may have answer to it now. How can I say that whatever I have offered them might have satisfied their hunger or fulfilled their taste ? May be they aren't still satisfied, so their chase continues which gives them no time to show gratitude towards anyone in the way.

When someone thinks they deserve something better, I'm sure they say so because of the confidence they gained by having done something or having been doing something. It may be great in their scale but to claim what they think as deserved, it may not have been good enough. While it may sound like ignorance, sometimes the scale that they have is so small that even the ant has to look down to see the scale's top edge. Most of such times, I pity them for their greediness.

If you ask me to rationalize, I may not be able to but I'm a strong believer in 'do good to receive good'. More over, I also believe that when you do good, what you get would be good. In one way or the other, you get what you deserve. If you think what you receive is inferior to what you deserve, seems like what you thought as good enough wasn't good enough after all.

After all, you can't receive blessings you don't deserve and one can't stop you from receiving the blessing you genuinely very well deserve.

--

Paul Arockiam

ஆன்மீகக் குறுங்கதைகள்: 2. மன(மும் மன்றாட்டு)ம்

"கிடைக்கவில்லை. "

"உண்மை தான். கிடைக்கும் என்பதும் உண்மையே."

"தாமதம் எதற்கு..?"

"சரி தான். தகுதியானதை உருவாக்கி தர நேரமாகலாம், நிஜமாகவே."

"தகுதியானது எதற்கு..? கேட்டது போதும்."

"நியாயம் தான். உன் மகிழ்ச்சி சரி, தருபவனுக்கு நிறைவு..?"

"மகிழ்கிறேன் என்னும் போது நிறைவடைவதில் என்ன குறை..?"

"கிடைக்கும் என்றான பின்பு கொஞ்சம் பொறுக்கலாம் அல்லவா..?"

"பொறுத்த பின் கிடைப்பதில் மகிழவில்லை என்றால்..? தருபவன் நிறைவு அடைந்திருப்பான், நான்..?"

"மகிழ்ச்சிக்காக அவசரத்தில் கொடுத்து, பின் உன் அழுகை காண நேர்ந்தால்..?"

"இப்போது மட்டும் என்ன..?"

"இரண்டும் வெவ்வேறு. இது நிரந்தரம் அற்ற ஒன்று."

"இப்போது இது அல்லாமல் பின்னால் வேறு எதற்கு..?"

புன்னகை, பின் மௌனம், "கோபமும் விரக்தியும் புரிகிறது. புரிதல் மெல்ல வரும்".

--

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்