These days many people ask me why I've been keeping myself away from them. While that wasn't intentional, I know such answer is likely to be ruled out as an usual excuse. Instead of answering people individually, even though I have done so, I thought perhaps I can write a post that talks in general on why someone keeps themselves away from someone else.
What I have noticed most of the times is that the person who calls or talks or asks first has upper hand to accuse the other for the distance that has fallen in place. It's natural, after all they talked to you first asking the question. What could be more interesting is that sometimes the person who talks first may not even know that (s)he was made to talk first. That's interesting part of a complicated game.
Let's talk about a game with normal rules. I have noticed that most of the people want the other person to talk, discuss and expose their life while they stay behind the curtain all the time. When asked, the answer would normally be, "it's by nature!". Recently couple of my friends, who were busy with their own life for quite sometime, called me after a long gap. Though it took sometime to get to the normal tone of conversation, we did manage to have it. One of them asked me what is latest with my life. When I smiled and had nothing much to share, I was accused of being a mystery these days. I couldn't help but smile. Sometimes it makes me feel good to hear that people care about me and want to know what is happening and be a part of my life. But then when they don't come forward equally to share their life, it makes me question why would I need such relationships / friendships.
They say that it is better to be alone than to be with people who makes you feel lonely. Their on and off nature of being in touch turns me off completely sometimes. I find it difficult to explain it to them. While some one else could very well accuse me of the same, I always wonder why I don't call them first and ask them the question they ask me.
What I have noticed is, any relationship -- including friendships -- is difficult to maintain, explained, continue and feel fulfillment if there is no 100% transparency from both sides and that they both don't meet at mid point.
Paul Arockiam.
27-June-2014.
What I have noticed most of the times is that the person who calls or talks or asks first has upper hand to accuse the other for the distance that has fallen in place. It's natural, after all they talked to you first asking the question. What could be more interesting is that sometimes the person who talks first may not even know that (s)he was made to talk first. That's interesting part of a complicated game.
Let's talk about a game with normal rules. I have noticed that most of the people want the other person to talk, discuss and expose their life while they stay behind the curtain all the time. When asked, the answer would normally be, "it's by nature!". Recently couple of my friends, who were busy with their own life for quite sometime, called me after a long gap. Though it took sometime to get to the normal tone of conversation, we did manage to have it. One of them asked me what is latest with my life. When I smiled and had nothing much to share, I was accused of being a mystery these days. I couldn't help but smile. Sometimes it makes me feel good to hear that people care about me and want to know what is happening and be a part of my life. But then when they don't come forward equally to share their life, it makes me question why would I need such relationships / friendships.
They say that it is better to be alone than to be with people who makes you feel lonely. Their on and off nature of being in touch turns me off completely sometimes. I find it difficult to explain it to them. While some one else could very well accuse me of the same, I always wonder why I don't call them first and ask them the question they ask me.
What I have noticed is, any relationship -- including friendships -- is difficult to maintain, explained, continue and feel fulfillment if there is no 100% transparency from both sides and that they both don't meet at mid point.
Paul Arockiam.
27-June-2014.
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