In a country and culture where Love is condemned, we have no other choice but to go through the complicated process of finding a match through matrimony. The experience can't be put in words, so lets use a decent word "bitter".
In fact, finding a match through matrimony need not necessarily be a big deal when you are looking for a part for your sister, brother, son or daughter. As a responsible member of the family, you are happy to do all those things. You sort out the matches, you investigate, you try your best to narrow down a good possible match. It's all ok as long as you are looking for a match for someone close to you.
The complication begins when you are a responsible member of the family, but not a father or mother, and it's time for you to find a match for your own. You are everything and you need to do everything for yourself. I'm damn sure that "Describe about yourself" can't be described perfectly by such person when they are modest in nature. It is such a difficult task to self-advertise yourself. It's more than awkward.
The funny thing is, how on earth the other party is going to believe what you say ? Everyone can say that they are good in nature. What is the guarantee that they speak the truth. How will you authenticate the credibility ? It is such a scary thing.
Let's say that you pass that hurdle, the next complication begins when you have to talk for yourself to the bride / groom or their parents. Now again the trust issue pops up. You can give certificate for your education, job, salary, health and even wealth, but how can you prove your character ?
There being good in heart is not good enough. Even if you are able to prove that you are good within, that isn't enough for most of the people. They attack you with caste, sub-caste, sub-sub-caste, ancestor history, and what not.
What I have experienced in these few days after putting up my profile in matrimony is something I should definitely be talking about. It shows how pathetic we are during the phase of choosing a relationship.. The basis on which the marriage is built in our society is such a shame thing to talk about. And without choice, we have become part of it and forced to live with it.
That is why the basis of life, which is called Love, should never be condemned.
Paul Arockiam.
06-June-2014.
In fact, finding a match through matrimony need not necessarily be a big deal when you are looking for a part for your sister, brother, son or daughter. As a responsible member of the family, you are happy to do all those things. You sort out the matches, you investigate, you try your best to narrow down a good possible match. It's all ok as long as you are looking for a match for someone close to you.
The complication begins when you are a responsible member of the family, but not a father or mother, and it's time for you to find a match for your own. You are everything and you need to do everything for yourself. I'm damn sure that "Describe about yourself" can't be described perfectly by such person when they are modest in nature. It is such a difficult task to self-advertise yourself. It's more than awkward.
The funny thing is, how on earth the other party is going to believe what you say ? Everyone can say that they are good in nature. What is the guarantee that they speak the truth. How will you authenticate the credibility ? It is such a scary thing.
Let's say that you pass that hurdle, the next complication begins when you have to talk for yourself to the bride / groom or their parents. Now again the trust issue pops up. You can give certificate for your education, job, salary, health and even wealth, but how can you prove your character ?
There being good in heart is not good enough. Even if you are able to prove that you are good within, that isn't enough for most of the people. They attack you with caste, sub-caste, sub-sub-caste, ancestor history, and what not.
What I have experienced in these few days after putting up my profile in matrimony is something I should definitely be talking about. It shows how pathetic we are during the phase of choosing a relationship.. The basis on which the marriage is built in our society is such a shame thing to talk about. And without choice, we have become part of it and forced to live with it.
That is why the basis of life, which is called Love, should never be condemned.
Paul Arockiam.
06-June-2014.
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