May the blessings continue..!

It ought have been several months since I posted something here. Life kept me busy these days.

While we are at the last hours of 2014, I'm getting lost in the moments of 2014 -- the ones that were filled with mixed emotions where happiness undoubtedly outlived the others. As I used to say (more to self), the best of happiness could be found when we accept our life the way it is, develop the awareness to sense the blessing in it's various forms and spread nothing but love.

While the challenges indeed chased us with all of their power to bring us down, we managed to survive. We even managed to grow sometimes, in positive way. We didn't give up on our life. The life didn't give up on us either. With the help of God, we proved that we are too strong to break.

When the year 2014 comes to an end, lets step on 2015 with confidence that the blessings will indeed continue to shower on us and that we find our strength and courage to move forward to make a positive change.

It is that time of the year when we would like to put down our past, pick up our present and walk towards the future ! May God be with us, as He has always been !!

Happy New Year 2015.

Paul Arockiam.

Note on a random day at random hour..

Mother Teresa said, "if you start judging people, you will not have time to love them". While the statement carries an important point that can't be denied, what I have realized and learnt all these years is that, "if you do not start judging people, you will not have a life to live -- it will just be taken away like a slice of cake cunningly taken away from an innocent child".

People tell me that sometimes I'm being cynical. What they don't know is that I make myself as a mirror when it comes to human and their relationships. So what they really miss to notice is that words and deeds from me are nothing but the reflection of their own shadow.

Paul Arockiam

Weird !

When an old friend (?) knocks on your door out of blue after several years, it surely feels weird. The weirder thing is that the person disappears when you respond to the knock on your door. When things like this happen, I could think of only one thing: it looks like they are bored for those few seconds.

It is such a surprising thing how people vanish from your life apparently for no good reason (rather I should say for no reason at all) who used to be one of your close or good friends. I was talking to one of my friends about another mutual friend who vanished like this few years back. My attempts to contact him went in vain. He never returned my calls and chose not to reply to emails. When we were talking about him, my friend mentioned that the other friend has been going through some tough time. While on the one hand, I wasn't willing to take that as an excuse, I'm willing to give them the benefit of empathy for I know what it would feel like going through a tough phase in your life.

There is a reason why I say that a touch phase of one's life can't be an excuse for giving up on friends. Definitely not for permanently moving away from your friends. That just sounds lame. While I can understand that there would be glitches in the connection during that phase of time, I find it difficult to agree that just because someone is going through tough time means that they shake some of their friends off. Especially they aren't the ones who are reason for the dark phase.

When such talk was going on with my friend, I said to him, "let's note waste our time talking about people who aren't worth it..!".

Paul Arockiam.
02-Sep-2014. 

A message to those who have been hurt by love !

To begin with, I have never thought that I would be writing this message. 'be in a position to write this message" would have been more opt words.

Yes, I know divine and true love is possible. I know how pity they look -- the ones who voluntarily come forward to advise you that (s)he isn't the only one and why don't you just move on. We pity them and their advise because they simply don't understand what true love is. They fail to acknowledge the fact that even at it's worst moments, true love finds it's tiniest hope that things will be alright and hangs onto it. When you love someone truly, how could you accept a break up for it simply will shatter your heart, your dreams and your life. Yes, I understand and I could empathize with you on this for sure. I know you would have thought many times to end your life yourself and you are also convinced that you have the most genuine reason to proceed with such decision irrespective of how stupid it may sound to others. The others -- they never understand. I know. You are willing to wait unconditionally taking all the pains and ready to face the hell on earth so that you could still hang onto your love and that your hoping of that magic may happen any time. You are all forgiving. You are all sacrificing. You are all ready to compromise. After all, it's all for the one whom you truly, madly and deeply love.

But my dear friend, I have to tell you something. Something that you don't know. Something that you could see only when you pass this phase. So hold tight. I'm not going to promise you that things will become alright and that your love will start blossoming again. It may or may not. While I unconditionally agree that your love is genuine and true, my dear friend, I have to say that you still haven't touched the core of it yet. The part where even with true love, you can see the reality. The moment when you would realize letting go does not mean end of love. It doesn't make your true love untrue. While it may be the most painful thing to let go of the one you love, touching the bottom of true love indeed helps you to understand the circumstances and reality and that letting go is part of life. Life doesn't end there. You may not be able to move on but you can definitely take an effort. There will be someone coming onto you, who will change things in your life. You don't have to move on, they will move you. You will no longer have to stand in there where you were fighting with pain all alone. Someone will come in your life. Keep the door open. I know you may find difficulty to walk to the door to unlock even if someone knocks. So keep the door open, so when someone wants to come in, they can get in and reach you.

There is a great saying, "Some day, there will be a person coming in your life and makes you forget all your pain, makes you feel the love (again) and shows a bright life of future. Not because they are better than the other person, but because they are simply different". (I customized the quote to convey the essence of the message)

Yes, you can fall in love with more than one person -- truly, madly and deeply. There is no better love for love can't be compared with one another. There is love, that's all.

Paul Arockiam.
27-Aug-2014.

[ Love of P&T ] True Love !!

The great thing about love is that hope always stays with you, even at it's thinnest level irrespective of how worst the condition of your love life is. You believe that things will be back to normal some day. You are all forgiving. In fact, a true love always have reverse effect with respect to the condition of life. When the life gets worse, the love becomes stronger than ever before. You find yourself more determined, even though your inside may feel that your life is being threatened. You refuse to believe that reality could have control over the life and that it can change things permanently. You strongly believe that Love over powers the reality; it had always been so and it will always be so.

A love does not blame the other person. Not even when things fall apart. It always gets upset about the situation. It may curse the gods, but never blames the other person. As a matter of fact, it holds the other person tighter than before.

A true love is rare to find, impossible to forget and it never dies. When you find such love, the world becomes smaller. The sky stays at reachable height. You know you can start or stop the rains by a word or hug. The rainbows are what you paint. Even when the life is at stake, you believe that you can manage. You can survive. Even if you are burned alive, you raise like a phoenix. You find strategies to conquer those that might have been taken away from you. You fight like a gladiator. Even if you die, you die like a brave soldier. Your soul may leave your body but love stays in your frozen eyes.

Paul Arockiam.
13-Aug-2014.

[ பரிந்துரை ] உன் சமையலறையில் (தமிழ் திரைப்படம்)

எதேச்சையாய் அல்ல. பார்க்க வேண்டும் என்று தான் பார்த்தேன். ஏனோ பிரகாஷ்ராஜ் ப்ரொடெக்ஷன்ஸ் மேல் எப்போதுமே ஒரு நம்பிக்கை உண்டு.

என்ன என்று சொல்வது இப்படத்தை பற்றி..? படத்தின் முதல் காட்சியில் உங்களுக்கு வாய் ஊறவில்லை என்றால் மிகவும் முக்கியமான ஒன்றை சிறுவயதில் அனுபவிக்காமல் கடந்திருக்கிறீர்கள் என்று அர்த்தம். முதல் பாடலின் காட்சியமைப்பு எவ்வளவு அழகு என்றால், காட்சிகளின் மேலே போடப்பட்டுக் கொண்டிருக்கும் பெயர்களை படிக்க நீங்கள் மறந்திருப்பீர்கள். அவ்வளவு அழகான காட்சியமைப்பு.. வண்ணமயம்.. வாயூறும் சுவை..

நான் கிரகிக்க முடிந்தவரையில் படம் மூன்று தளங்களில் நகர்கின்றது. ஒரு தளம் வாய் ஊற வைக்கின்றது. இன்னொரு தளம் செய்வதறியாது உதவ இயலாத நிலையில் நம்மை தள்ளி விட்டு நிஜத்தின் கொடூர முகத்திற்கு நம்மை சாட்சிகள் ஆக்குகின்றது. கடைசி தளம் மிகவும் உணர்ச்சிமிக்க (sensitive) வாழ்வின் ஒரு பகுதியை நளினமிக்க கவிதை நடையில் காட்டுவதோடு மட்டும் நில்லாமல், தீர்வுகளை நாம் தான் தேடித் போக வேண்டும் என்னும் மிக முக்கிய யதார்த்தத்தை மென்மையான தென்றலின் தீண்டலுடன் சொல்லி விட்டு செல்கிறது.

படத்தின் பின் பகுதியை கொஞ்சமேனும் சுருக்கி இருக்கலாம் என்று எண்ணலாம் சிலர். எனக்கென்னவோ நான் குறிப்பிட்ட மூன்றாம் தளத்தின் உணர்ச்சிகளை வெளிக்கொணர்வதற்கு அது ஒருவகையில் தேவையான ஒன்றே என்று தோன்றியதால் அதன் நீளத்தை குறையென்று சொல்வதற்கு ஒன்றுமில்லை.

திரைப்படத்தின் காட்சியமைப்புகளில் தெளித்திருக்கும் வண்ணமயத்தில் நீங்கள் மயங்கி உங்களையே மறந்து ரசிக்காமல் இருக்க வாய்ப்பில்லை.

உன் சமையலறையில் ஒரு கலைஞனின் கலையுணர்வும் அதன் மீதான காதலும் எல்லையற்று பரந்து விரிந்து கிடக்கிறது. ஆங்காங்கே கதையின் போக்கில் சில நெருடல்களைத் தவிர குறையென்று சொல்வதற்கு வேறு எதுவுமே இல்லை.

உன் சமையலறையில்: எல்லாம் மிகவும் ருசியே.

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.

Attitude towards the shadow

It isn't the memories that put us down. It's our attitude towards the same. For some people, like me, it isn't that they can't let go of something. They just don't want to. Fighting the battle that has never been meant to them. Claiming upstairs to catch the stars like a child. For a child, it is the innocence and the ignorance about the fact that stars can't be caught by walking up the stairs. But for us, adults, it is the attitude that results in burning our energy in the most wasteful way.

Sometimes I tend to think it is always good not to have something you wanted during your childhood, face failures during your young age, being rejected even before you get matured enough to understand that. You see, that helps you grow. As a matter of fact, those are the things that brings you the maturity to handle your life and creates an easy to handle future.

I'm concerned the way most kids are brought up in today's world. The attitude of revenge of parents to get those to their kids, which they couldn't get for themselves during their growing up ages. It worries me. Will they be able to handle the cruelty of the world as they grow older..?

Having said all these, we always have a statement to console us, our kids and the world, "at the end, it all boils down to the fate!". Don't we..?

Paul Arockiam.
04-Aug-2014.

Something about Friendship Day..

While very young, I used to wish every so called friend on Friendship Day. When I started growing mature, it occur to me that Friendship Day is a special day and therefore it would only make sense to wish those friends who are special in one way or other. It has become tradition in here that every 'known' person is called as friend and therefore the word 'friend' started losing it's significance. To compensate that, we started adding prefix to the word "good friends", "best friends", "close friends" etc which are supposedly be having it's own special significance themselves.

This is where I started having problem to wish on Friendship day. Ever since I started feeling that it is a special day and we are supposedly be celebrating those significant ones who make difference in our life and wish them on that day, it started drawing attention (in some ways, negative), envy, jealous and hatred from those whom we don't see as friends.

Few years back, I wrote a special poetic message on the Friendship Day and uploaded in Facebook tagging only those who have made a difference in my life as friends. Soon, I realized that it is likely to be seen as a controversial post from those other people whom I didn't tag since the post has become a public display of affection towards my real friends. So in order not to hurt any of those other people, I started tagging almost everyone and then a little later I removed all the tagging since I felt that just doesn't make sense.

That's when I decided perhaps Friendship Day, which draws the attention easily, need not be the only day when you let someone know that they are your valued friend and that they are special in your life. So I stopped wishing people on that day. After all, a wish to a person on Friendship Day hardly could mean something unlike where you have kept that person in your mind and heart.

Paul Arockiam.
03-Aug-2014.

These days..

Has been a while since I posted something, isn't it..? I know. In a way, I'm pretty busy with living my life but I find it difficult to justify why I don't write. There is indeed a lot to write these days, more than ever.

It is surprising to hear how some of my good friends are deeply happy about the recent developments in my personal life. It is also equally surprising not to hear anything from some of my other, good, friends. They may be not that very expressive in nature, I would like to think. I know what will happen eventually, but lets just save those thoughts for future.

These days I receive a lots of complaints like my phone is always engaged, I'm unavailable for anything, probably having a specific type of amnesia, I write-talk about nothing but love etc. Some may even seem to have complaint that I'm happy these days. Probably they must be thinking that it is not good for health.

Sometimes I feel that for the best interest of both sides, it is good not to get deeper into what someone thinks these days. I actually wrote the strategy I follow to deal with people but then I thought let it be a secret to myself. So I just back-spaced the statement.

Paul Arockiam.
03-Aug-2014.

[ கவிதை ] கடற்கரையில் நாம்..

மல்லாந்து விரிந்திருக்கும் 
வெண் மணற்பரப்பின்
;உலர்ந்த மேனியில் 
அமிழ்ந்து எழும் 
நம் பாதங்கள் 
காதலின் சுவடுகளை 
கடற்கரையில் பதிவிடுகின்றன 

சீறிவரும் கடலின் 
தேகம் தொட்டு வரும் 
சில்லென்ற காற்று 
நம்மை தழுவி செல்ல 
இறுக்கிப் பிடித்துக் கொள்கிறோம் 
நம் விரல்கள் நழுவிப் பிரியாதபடி

வெளிச்சத்தை இரவு 
விழுங்க தொடங்கியிருக்க 
உன் புன்னகைகளை 
வெட்கம் முழுவதுமாக விழுங்கியிருக்கிறது 

வானம் தன்னை 
அலங்கரிக்க தயாராகிறது 
நானுன் கூந்தலை 
மலர்களால் அலங்கரிக்கிறேன் 
உன் வெட்கத்தில் 
நனைந்தெழும் அம்மலர்களின் வாசனை 
போதையைத் தருகிறது

இவ்வளவு 
கிறக்கத்தை ஏற்படுத்தக் கூடியதா 
இந்த காதல்..
நம் காதல் !

அன்பே !
இதே கடற்கரைக்கு
நாளையும் நாம் வருவோம்..
காதலின் மணம் பரப்புவோம்..
நாம் வந்து கொண்டே இருப்போம் 
கடலின் மேனி 
வெட்கத்தில் சிவக்கும் வரை !!

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.
26-ஜூலை-2014.

[ கவிதை ] பிறந்த நாள் வாழ்த்துக்கள், என் அன்பே!

அவனெழுதிய எழுத்துக்களுக்கு 

நாம் உயிர் கொடுத்த அத்தருணம் 

எதுவென்று அறிய விரும்பி

நீயாகிய நான் 

பின்னோக்கி நடக்க

நானாகிய நீ 

என் மீது இடிக்க 

தேடல் மறந்து 

கூடலில் நாம் திளைக்க 

மீண்டும் உயிர் கொடுக்கிறோம் 

அவனெழுதிய 

மற்ற சில எழுத்துக்களுக்கு..

என்அன்பே..

இரும்புருக்கும் தீ ஜூவாலையாய்

நெஞ்சுக்குள் பரவும் 

உன் காதலில் 

உருகி வழியும் என்னிதயத்தில் 

உன் பெயர் 

உன் உருவம் 

உன் வாசனை..

கரம் பிடித்து 

என்னுடன் வா

என்னுயிரே !

மனிதர் இல்லாததொரு உலகத்திற்கு

நானுன்னை அழைத்து செல்கிறேன்..

காலம் வெல்லும் 

காதல் கதையொன்றை 

நாமங்கே எழுதுவோம்..

நம் காதல் பிரசவிக்கும் 

நமதன்பு செல்வங்கள் 

அவ்வுலகை ஆளட்டும்..

அங்கே

நம் காதல் 

அதன் சுவடுகள் 

மட்டுமே நிறைந்து கிடக்கட்டும்..

தேகத்தின் 

நுண்ணிய துளைகளில் நுழைந்து 

உதிரத்தில் கலந்து 

இதயத்தை நனைத்து 

மனதிற்குள் படர்ந்து 

மேகங்களுடன் சிநேகிக்கும் வாய்ப்பளித்த

என் காதலே,

இந்த நாள் 

இனிதாக அமையட்டும் !!

இந்த வருடம் 

மகிழ்வில் பொங்கட்டும் !!

உனதிந்த வாழ்வு 

இணையற்ற இன்பத்தில் திளைக்கட்டும் !!!

பிறந்த நாள் வாழ்த்துக்கள்..!!!

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.

19-ஜூலை-2014.

[ கவிதை ] சதுரங்க வேட்டை

சதுரங்கத்தில் 
சிங்கத்தை வேட்டையாட விரும்பி 
முன்னேறும் ஒருவனது 
துடிப்பு பற்றி 
என்ன நினைக்கிறீர்கள்..?

அவனுக்கான போர்க்களம் அதுவல்ல 
என்பதை 
சீற்றத்தில் இருக்கும் 
அவனது செவிகளில் 
கிசுகிசுக்கும் வழி எதென்று 
எப்படி அறிவீர்கள்..?

நிழலுடன் போராடுபவனுக்கும் 
அவனுக்கும் 
இருக்கும் ஒற்றுமைகளாக 
எதை நீங்கள் கருதுகிறீர்கள்..?

அவனது துடிப்பின் 
மீதான கருணையின் நிமித்தம் 
தோன்றியிருக்கிறதா உங்களுக்கு 
விதிமுறை மீறி 
சதுரங்கத்தின் உள்ளே 
சிங்கத்தை இழுத்து வந்து நிறுத்த..?

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.
18-ஜூலை-2014.

[ கவிதை ] பாச மலர்களே!

அன்பின் மலர்களே 
அன்பற்ற பொழுதுகளில் 
அணுகப்படாதது குறித்து 
என்றேனும் வருந்தியிருக்கிறீர்களா..?

அல்லது 
ஓய்வின் மடியில் 
சாய்ந்துப் படுத்து 
அமைதிக் கொண்டீர்களா..?

மாறும் மனிதரின் 
மனநிலைக் குறித்து 
மனதிற்குள் சிரித்திருக்கிறீர்களா..?

அல்லது 
மாற்றம் என்பது 
இயற்கையின் நியதியென்று
சமரசம் கொண்டீர்களா..?

அன்பின் மலர்களே 
என்றேனும் நீங்கள் 
சப்தமாய் பிராத்தித்திருக்கிறீர்களா
அறுத்து புதைத்திட்ட அன்பைத் 
தோண்டிப் பறித்து 
ஒட்ட வைக்கும் ஆற்றல் வேண்டி..?

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.
17-ஜூலை-2014.

Weird..

When I started communicating about one of the good news to my close circles, the responses were mixed. I really wanted to write down some of them for I might forget them otherwise. But then, I thought I better forget them -- why find a way to keep something that isn't pleasant in nature.

I do know that people are different. Everyone is a unique in their own kind. But I thought that there are at least some basic common characters within my close circle. Otherwise why would someone feel the closeness. But then, when some people even break such belief of yours, how could you respond ? More than provoking anguish, they make me feel weird. In this world of uncertainty, some people are suffering from severe 'what's-there-for-me' disorder.

I really wanted to write a post about the responses in their abstract form but then I thought I might end up violating their privacy -- not everyone wants publicity, do they ?

Paul Arockiam.
17-July-2014.

Controlling the uncontrollable..

"I didn't come this far to take a NO", is what most people think. Nobody does, do they ? Such thinking is what brings them the determination that they themselves have never seen. Most of the time the fundamental problem with human being is the rejection itself rather than who rejects. The ego, even though some say they don't give a shit, does in deed play you. It is so cunning that it makes you end up fighting a battle that doesn't even exist or lost already.

The situation is more difficult to handle if the person is so much used to receiving nothing but YES all the time. Such people, over a period of time, gifted with cat's eyes. They think that gift is an award while it is in fact a curse. The problem with cat, as they say, is that it thinks the world is dark when it closes it's eyes. The fact is difficult to be explained to cat since the fact actually sits on the illusion. It can only be realized by the cat if it chooses to look at the world beyond it's closed eyelids.

Doctor, a real doctor, says, "don't try to control the uncontrollable". It is important to understand what is controllable and what is uncontrollable. Trying to control the uncontrollable is like chasing your own shadow to hug closer. At the most, you will finally end up putting the lights out and place yourself into darkness.

So you see, you can't say that you didn't walk that far to take a NO. Walking a farther distance is your choice and in control of you. However, what is being granted is not in your control. The sooner you realize, the sooner you can take different path(s) as needed.

Paul Arockiam.
16-July-2014.

Biggest battles..

The biggest battles fought by the individuals never made themselves to the history. They were closed behind the doors, hided under the blanket and let to dry on the pillows. The biggest battles have always been the ones that are within even though they were kicked off by the ones who just found their way out.

Most of the times, advises never have effect on people. When they get themselves convinced of the battle they were fighting within, found a way to make peace with themselves or decided to give up on the enemy they were fighting with, anything you tell them could be treated as advise and can be given the status of having effect.

You see, counselling and advises changing life are myths. It is the decision to listen to them has to be marked as the point of turning. One of my friends used to say, "do you know what is your problem..? you know a lot !!". When those statements hit me hard, I realized that ignorance is indeed a bliss. Ignorance helps to recover faster, because your bowl is empty and there is always someone or something to fill it with.

When I was suffering from deepest form of depression, I know inside that it wasn't that I couldn't come out of it. It was just that I didn't want to. When you realize such fact, there is nothing in this world that can cure you but you.

Paul Arockiam.
15-July-2014.

Unexplained things can only be untitled..

I don't know the best way to deal with the haunting memories. I still struggle with them like many others. One of my friends used to say, "life is very simple, it is we -- people -- who make it complicated". While he may be right, nobody wants to make their life complicated. It just happens that way like so many things that can't be explained.

People say that you always have a choice. The paths you have walked are simply because of the choices you have made along the way. Yes, in deed we do have choices all the time. Only thing is, we don't get to choose them most of the time. We were forced to choose by different means, which we do not have control over. Idealists might say that you have the control over your choices, but if one can live an ideal life why all these sufferings and pains ?

An emotional weakness is one of the natures of humanity. Being practical is fine. You can only be so much practical in your life. Being "only" practical makes a person robot, not human. That is my opinion and it  has always been. Some people think that being practical is being wise. I say that it is just an illusion. The more you get closer, the more it disappears. You can never catch it. Such thinking is meant to be seen and enjoyed from distance like any other fantasy stuff.

I have seen many people in my life with different weaknesses at varying scale. Everybody has some. Even those who think they always take practical decisions do have weaknesses like pride, status, fame, ego etc including "being practical" being one among them. Like any other weakness, they could also be easily hurt and taken advantage of if someone wants to. When one can't be without any weakness, I choose to have the one that is closer to humanity.

Paul Arockiam.
15-July-2014.

Holding up..

It is so much difficult to hold it a secret, especially the one that you are longing for to let go public. When the reasons and seasons aren't adding up, you are given no choice but to hold it up a little longer. But then you are scared of the complaints, so you let some know about it and keep some in the dark. Then the scary feeling turns into guilt that you are being partial, so you start trying to figure out a way to make the reasons and seasons set straight.

One thing I have noticed with people is their personal take on something, as how it should supposed to have happened rather than the happening itself, gets so aggregated that they forget the happening and their dutiful response to the same. They simply react. They couldn't help themselves but to react. While I understand the same, I do wait for their response sooner or later. But sometimes you will just be disappointed. You see, people are people. Greatness could be there within them, but it always overpowered by their ego.

As a matter of fact, I sometime afraid of the response itself, forget the reaction. Some people don't really know how to respond. It could be because they simply don't understand the essence of life or their way of seeing the life simply don't overlap with yours. Sometimes it is so surprising how we have become friends with such a disastrous difference being between us. Thinking deeply, the only answer I could come up with is that may be I respect(ed) them the way they are (were). But continuing the same seems difficult when some unacceptable differences pop up.

I thought of writing some more in this post. Lets keep it simple for the very reason that reasons and seasons haven't gotten add up yet.

Paul Arockiam.
15-July-2014.

Courageous move..

A bold move is always a difficult task to do. I use the word 'bold' because you could mostly predict the responses and reactions of the step you are going to take. The move could be anything, a open talk, expression of heart, talking about the truth, standing up for your right, putting a full-stop to your sacrifices, fixing your emotional weaknesses etc etc. It could be anything.

The fact about a courageous move is that it will indeed nurture your life but likely to elicit negative and bitter reactions from those who could have otherwise have had a comfortable living. You tend to take such move when you are pushed to the edge or invariably by chance you end up reaching the edge.

What would be the most surprising thing is that the people, who complain of you having changed or deviating from your so-called original nature, are the ones who were the reason for such change. Most of the times, I wonder whether they are really ignorant about such fact or pretend to be so.

Every now and then, if you notice carefully, you were compelled to take a courageous move. What I always think is that the sooner you take, the better.

Paul Arockiam.
13-July-2014.

Why less writing in Tamil these days..?

I'm sensing that some of my friends might be really disappointed about the fact that I don't write much in Tamil these days. While that wasn't intentional, as everyone else, I have some reasons too. It is, indeed, true that I not only feel very comfortable writing in Tamil but also able to express myself to it's fullest details. What else language could help you express your heart if not mother tongue..?

However, it does take more time to write posts when written in Tamil, because of the complicated tooling support as well as the added responsibility of using the appropriate and more elegant words hops in. Besides, having narrowed down the friends list, not many in my list are known to Tamil. Last but not the least, for an unknown reason (honestly unknown), thought flow seems to be much more faster if I plan to write in English.

I do want to write more in Tamil, but timing seems to be less supportive. Lets see how it is going forward.

PS: I could have written at least this post in Tamil, I know.

Paul Arockiam.
11-July-2014.

The panic button..

If the panic button is pressed when you are not prepared at all, what would be your reaction ? Very scary, isn't it ??

It was, in deed. But then, if you take a deep breath and try to think clearly, you could realize that getting scared isn't going to do any good. All you need to come up with is a strategy to play with the life's sudden game of challenge without even worrying or wasting time on understanding the rules. You just have to learn the rules along the way. No time to waste. No second to sit or hide.

Life never puts an impossibly achievable challenges in front of you. As long as you are alive, you can handle the situation in a way or other. All you need to do is to think how to handle.

A blossoming future is never guaranteed without struggles. The struggles in life always are the signs of a blossoming future ! At least, that is what I believe in.

Paul Arockiam.
10-July-2014.  

Reactions and responses of human being

People's reaction and response are sometimes so very confusing. It even confuses to a level where I finally end up questioning their well-wishing nature, which otherwise I had confidence that they did exist. Looking at all these things makes me realize the answer to question of why people be secret about their life.

I think people's personal take on certain things are so compulsive that they couldn't even pretend to be gentle and courteous. Well, you are left with no choice but to face the reality at the end. Reality in the sense, how people react or respond to changes in your life.

When things happen such ways, you have options like worry, angry, depressed, determined etc etc. I choose the option 'ignore' and try to keep my mood stable.

Paul Arockiam.
09-July-2014.

Songs of Solomon - A book in Old Testament

It was by chance I happen to notice the book "Songs of Solomon" in the Old Testament of the Holy Bible. It is surprising to see that the Holy Bible not only contains the words of Lord but also talks about the love life of Jerusalem and Palestinian people. While the preface of the book says that the interpretation of the songs in the book vary based on people's perception, it also rightly points out that the songs are clearly talking about the Love life of the Jerusalem people and not about Lord.

The songs are filled with love. Very poetic in nature. Most of the songs are like a woman talking to his lover, a man talking to his lady love and people in general talking about the love life of their generation.

Even though some may say that the songs are nothing but the expression of love between people of Jerusalem and Lord, I, as many others, disagree with that perception. The Songs of Solomon is nothing but a literature anthology like Kuruntokai and many other classical Tamil poetic literature anthology. It need not be a surprise to see such book in the Holy Bible for the very reason that love is nothing but a holy feeling, present of nature and a gift from God. Bible accepts the same.

Paul Arockiam.
02-July-2014.

Distance that invariably fall in place..

These days many people ask me why I've been keeping myself away from them. While that wasn't intentional, I know such answer is likely to be ruled out as an usual excuse. Instead of answering people individually, even though I have done so, I thought perhaps I can write a post that talks in general on why someone keeps themselves away from someone else.

What I have noticed most of the times is that the person who calls or talks or asks first has upper hand to accuse the other for the distance that has fallen in place. It's natural, after all they talked to you first asking the question. What could be more interesting is that sometimes the person who talks first may not even know that (s)he was made to talk first. That's interesting part of a complicated game.

Let's talk about a game with normal rules. I have noticed that most of the people want the other person to talk, discuss and expose their life while they stay behind the curtain all the time. When asked, the answer would normally be, "it's by nature!". Recently couple of my friends, who were busy with their own life for quite sometime, called me after a long gap. Though it took sometime to get to the normal tone of conversation, we did manage to have it. One of them asked me what is latest with my life. When I smiled and had nothing much to share, I was accused of being a mystery these days. I couldn't help but smile. Sometimes it makes me feel good to hear that people care about me and want to know what is happening and be a part of my life. But then when they don't come forward equally to share their life, it makes me question why would I need such relationships / friendships.

They say that it is better to be alone than to be with people who makes you feel lonely. Their on and off nature of being in touch turns me off completely sometimes. I find it difficult to explain it to them. While some one else could very well accuse me of the same, I always wonder why I don't call them first and ask them the question they ask me.

What I have noticed is, any relationship -- including friendships -- is difficult to maintain, explained, continue and feel fulfillment if there is no 100% transparency from both sides and that they both don't meet at mid point.

Paul Arockiam.
27-June-2014.

Experiencing love !!

They say, "loving someone gives you courage and being loved by someone gives you strength". When you are filled with courage and strength, nothing can stand in your way. You can grab the life you want. The path will be clear. What you experience and feel are so sweet.. so gentle.. Pains get diluted.

There is nothing but happiness all around.

There is nothing but warmth, care and gentle breeze of affection.

There is nothing but love to spread.

There is nothing but love to breath. 

There is nothing but living life to it's fullest.

There is no one else other than you two..

You are dressed with rainbow, covered by clouds and lie on the lap moon. It is so wonderful. It is so lively. You feel life !!

Paul Arockiam.
27-June-2014.

Need of a purpose !

You need a stronger purpose to keep rolling. A purpose that is more demanding than the one you are running with. A purpose that is more promising than the ordinary. A purpose that gives the sense of fulfilling when you dream of achieving it.

You need a purpose that stays back inside your eyelids even when you are asleep or the one that doesn't let you sleep. In this world of hopelessness, you need a purpose that makes you feel you simply can't live without it. Let it spread it's root into your dreams, thoughts, words and deeds.

When you find such purpose, you have found your life.

Paul Arockiam.
25-June-2014.

[ நாவல் பற்றி ] சிந்துவைக் கொன்று விட்டார்கள் - சில துளிகள்

"அதெப்படி என்னைப் படிக்காமலேயே நான் சொல்லிக் கொண்டிருப்பதை சொல்லி விட்டு சென்றிருக்கின்றனர்..?", என்றான் நகு.

கடற்கரை.. கூட்டம்.. மாலை.. மணல்.. உவர் காற்று.. காலடிக்கு மிக அருகில் வந்து தன்னைப் பின்னிழுத்துக் கொள்ளும் அலை.

எனக்கு ஒன்றுமே புரியவில்லை. அவன் இப்படி தான். திடீரென்று சம்பந்தமே இல்லாத ஏதோவொன்றைப் பற்றி, தலையும் இல்லாமல் வாலும் இல்லாமல் நடுவில் இருந்து ஆரம்பிப்பான். "ஏன் எப்பவுமே இப்படி நடுவுல ஆரம்பிக்கிற..?", என்று கேட்டால், "நடுவுல தான சுவாரசியமான விஷயங்களே இருக்கு சிந்து..", என்று கண்ணடித்துக் கொண்டே அங்கேப் பார்ப்பான்.

".டேய்..", என்று அவன் புஜத்தில் ஒரு குத்து விடுவேன். அவனது இரட்டை அர்த்த வசனங்களுக்கு வேறென்ன செய்வது. சிரித்துக் கொண்டே அடியை வங்கிக் கொள்வான்.

"நீ என்ன சொல்லிட்டு இருக்க..? யார் என்ன சொல்லிட்டு போய் இருக்காங்க..?", சத்தியமாக ஒன்றுமே புரியாமல் தான் கேட்டேன்.

"அஹம் பிரம்மாஸ்மி..", என்றான்.

"டேய்.. அது 'நான் கடவுள்' படத்துல பாலா சொன்ன மாதிரியே இருக்கு"

"பாலா ரொம்ப லேட்.. அதுக்கு ரொம்ப காலத்துக்கு முன்னாடில இருந்தே நான் சொல்லிட்டு இருக்கேன் 'நான் தான் கடவுள்'ன்னு.."

"யார்கிட்ட..?"

"யார்கிட்டயும் இல்ல.. எனக்குள்ளையே தான்.."

"ஹவ் கன்வீனியண்ட்..", என்று சிரித்தேன்.

"சிரிக்காதடி.. ஒய் ஷூட் ஐ லை..? ஐ மைட் ஹாவ் டோல்ட் இட் டு ப்யூ பீபிள் டூ..", சொல்லிக் கொண்டே சிந்தனையில் ஆழ்ந்து விட்டான்.

"சரிடா.. நீ அப்படி சிந்திக்கிற ஆள் தான்.. இப்ப என்ன ஆச்சு..?". நிகழ் உலகத்திற்கு அவனை இழுத்து வந்தேன்.

"இல்ல.. ஓஷோ.. புத்தர்.. எல்லாருமே அதை தான் சொல்லிட்டுப் போய் இருக்காங்க.. படிச்சு பாக்குறப்ப தான் தெரியுது..", என்றவன் சிரித்துக் கொண்டே மீண்டும் கேட்டான், "அதெப்படி என்னைப் படிக்காமலேயே நான் சொல்ல இருந்தத அவங்க எல்லாம் சொல்லிட்டுப் போய்  இருக்காங்க..".

"டேய்.. இதெல்லாம் ரொம்ப ஓவர்.."

"இல்ல சிந்து.. நெஜமா தான் கேக்குறேன்.. அதெப்படி..?", என்று இழுத்தான்.

"சரிடா.. யூ ஆர் எ பர்சனா.. ஒத்துக்கிறேன்..", என்று அவனிடம் சொல்லி விட்டு வானத்தைப் பார்த்து இரண்டு கைகளையும் விரித்து கொண்டு, "கடவுளே, நிஜமாவே நீ இப்படி தானா..?", என்றேன்.

"எரும..", என்று தலையில் கொட்டினான்.

"அது சரி.. கடவுளுக்கு எதுக்குடா காதல்..? சந்நியாசம் இல்ல போகணும்.."

"போடி லூசு.. அங்க தான் நீ தப்பு பண்ற.. காதல் இல்லாத கடவுள் நிஜ கடவுளே இல்ல.. தெய்வீகம் பிறக்கிறதே காதல்ல இருந்து தாண்டி..", என்று சொல்லிக் கொண்டே இடைவெளியைக் குறைத்து அருகில் நெருங்கினான். அணைக்க முயன்றான்.

"தெய்வீகம் அப்பறம் தனியா இருக்கப்ப பொறக்கட்டும்.. நீ தள்ளி உக்காரு", என்று சொல்லி விட்டு நான் இடைவெளி விட்டு அவனிடம் இருந்து நகர்ந்து அமர்ந்தேன்.

....

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பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.
17-ஜூன்-2014.

Fall..

When some people say, "this is why I never want to fall in love", I wouldn't help myself but smile. What else can we do for their innocence or ignorance of thinking love as a act or task that could be pre-planned and that they are in control of it.

Do you know why they call "falling in love"? That's because you fall, which you will never know when, where and with whom. Not falling is not in your control. You may walk steady, I agree. You may be looking at the floor each time you take the next step, I again agree. You may hold your hand onto something when you move further, I still agree. Do you really think all those guarantee you that you will never ever fall ?

Paul Arockiam.
17-June-2014.

Matrimony and it's complications - 4..

I never thought it would become a series of writing. When I wrote the first post on "Matrimony and it's complications", I was desperate to express at least something that I have been going through. Then I realized that there is indeed so much to share, not just to express what I feel about it but also to talk about it in general.

After reading my posts on the topic related to this, one of my friends, who is also the only person, made me feel like she got the real essence of what I was writing about and caught the right pulse of the posts. We had a long discussion around the topic. She was very forthcoming to explain me the 'why's' of the complications. It wasn't that I was unaware of everything but she surely added some new perspectives into my thinking.

To ease the complications, her simplest advise -- which I couldn't help but agree -- was to follow the procedure. The core point of the complication was because we are caught up in between the transformation of the generations. The generations before us might not have had such complications or at least they ought have been made to accept that as de facto conducts of code. The generation after us aren't surely going to face such complications, at least not at this level of aggravation.  As she had rightly pointed out, we are caught up in the middle. Our parents are so much into the de facto procedures while us, the children, are into free will nature.

To handle a complicated situation like this, the simplest and really working way is to follow the procedure our parents set or expect. As a bride or groom, you aren't supposed to talk. Let parents talk. Let them go through the proper procedure and proceed further. Even if you want to talk, so as to show your high moral values, you remind yourself that you aren't at an advantage to talk. You talk when you are given the chance and keep your profile low because that is what considered to be a good and acceptable behavior as per de facto conducts of code.

You might be against dowry and all other 'not making sense' routine of procedures (I didn't use the word 'nonsense' because that is condemned as per the de facto dictionary., however expanding of the word is considered not to be an offense). But until you are given a chance with an environment filled with acceptable attitudes, you perhaps restrict yourself from making a scene. When talks about dowry comes and you are asked to give opinion, simply and politely say that "it's your wish, I'm not expecting anything". Don't say that, "I don't want dowry and that is against my principle", because you are then likely to be perceived as a defective piece of work by God. You can even show your gesture of goodness by returning the dowry, if they were willing to give, after marriage when you really get a chance to speak for yourself.

-- To be continued in next post of the series.

Paul Arockiam.
16-June-2014.

The (dis)advantage of expressive nature !

In a relationship, the person who is first to express or more expressive than the other person is the most vulnerable. I'm not saying that to mean such persons requires change. While you know what kind of person you are, it is also good to know the position, advantages and disadvantages you have in your relationship. Nothing to be scared of, but realizing the fact will help you deal the reality in a better way (or at least not in the worst way).

I have witnessed it. I have been a victim of it. I have experienced it. I have also noted that considerate thoughts, empathy, unconditional love and care seems to have become luxury in nature, in the sense not many persons possesses them these days. The very unfortunate thing is, those who have such luxurious attributes are considered to be poor and are denied of VIP status. While that is not for what they want to exhibit such attributes, it is however, in my opinion, very unfortunate.

The persons, who are truly committed into a relationship, are nothing but to be scared of the uncertainty thrown at them constantly. Persistence is often to be questioned for it's ability to add value into such relationships. A focused effort again needed to be questioned. If a relationship is mutually caring enough, why do you need persistence and focused effort to keep it stable ?

Having said the realities, you can't change the nature of your true self irrespective of the rides life takes you for. Can you ?

Paul Arockiam.
16-June-2014.

[ கவிதை ] அம்பு

புதர்களில் மறைந்து மறைந்து 

நகரும் அம்மனிதர்கள் 

ஆபத்தற்றவர்களே என்று 

தெரிந்திருந்தாலும் கூட 

ஏனோ எய்து விடுகிறேன் அம்பை 

மறைதலும் 

பின்  அரும்புதலும் 

அவர்களின் இயல்பே 

என்றாலும் கூட 

பொருத்திப் பார்க்க இயலவில்லை 

அவ்வியல்பை யாருடனும் 

விலங்குகளைத் தவிர

பிறகொரு நாள் 

ஏதோவொரு அம்பு 

சீறி பாய்ந்து வந்தது 

என்னை நோக்கி 

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.

13-ஜூன்-2014.

Wants Vs Needs..

How will you convey to a someone that you are the one and you are all what they needs, when the other person focus is fully on their wants ? Let's keep the debate of how will one know the need of another aside, for a while at least. Let's assume that they just know. Now the question is, how that person will convey the other person they are not looking at the option that will fulfill their need.

I do notice that some people's want doesn't even overlap with their need ? How will you make them understand that what they are doing is chasing their own shadow hoping it will provide shade from sun light ? Or may be that they do know their need and they get bit more greedy.

I sometime concern about them that their wants could put them into misery in long run if they put their needs in back seat. We can say it is none of our business until of course the concerned person is of falling under your caring circle. Sometimes all you can do is warn and if possible be a backup in case they end up in the need of rescue.

Paul Arockiam.
13-June-2014.

அடர்த்தியான பனி மூட்டம்..

அவர்கள் தம் நிலைப்பாட்டை அவ்வப்போது நமக்கு தெரியப்படுத்திய வண்ணமே இருந்தனர். நாம் தான் மிகுந்த அலட்சியம் காட்டினோம். வயதின் திமிரும், அடையும் சக்தியின் மீதான அசட்டு நம்பிக்கையும் நம் செவிகளை அடைத்துக் கொண்டிருந்தன. நாம் கடைசி வரை நம் சொற்பேச்சை கேட்பவர்களாகவே இருக்கவில்லை.

நடப்பதற்கான சாத்தியங்கள் குறைவு என்று கூற முனைந்த உள்மனதை நாம் உள்ளே வைத்துப் பூட்டி, சாவியை தலை சுற்றி தொலைவில் எறிந்தோம். சாத்தியங்கள் குறைவான அந்த சவால் நமக்கு மிகவும் பிடித்திருந்தது. அதில் வெற்றியடையும் போது கிடைக்க இருக்கும் புகழையும் நிறைவையும் எண்ணி நாம் கனவில் மிதந்தோம். நழுவிக் கொண்டிருக்கும் நிகழ்காலம் எதிர்காலத்தை சூறையாடிக் கொண்டிருப்பதை நாம் கண்டு கொள்ள விரும்பவில்லை. நாம் நம்மை மறந்திருந்தோம். அவர்களும் நம்மை மறந்திருந்தனர்.

பிறகு ஒருநாள் வந்தது. தாம் தொடர்ந்து சொல்லி வந்த தமது நிலைப்பாட்டை மீண்டும் நமக்கு அறிவுறுத்த அவர்கள் அங்கே இல்லை. அவர்கள் நமது அலட்சியத்தின் பால் சலிப்படைந்து இருக்க வேண்டும். அல்லது நேரமின்மையின் எல்லையை தொட்டிருக்க வேண்டும். அல்லது அவர்கள் நிர்ணயித்து இருந்த நேரம் வந்திருக்க வேண்டும். அப்போது நமக்கு முன் எதுவுமே இல்லாமல் போய் விட்டது. நாம் மிகவும் யோசித்தோம். பிறகு கற்பனையின் உதவியுடன் நம்மை சுற்றி அடர்த்தியான பனி மூட்டத்தை ஏற்படுத்திக் கொண்டோம்.

அவர்கள் அங்கே இருக்கிறார்கள் என்றும், பனி மூட்டத்தின் காரணமாகவே அவர்கள் நம் கண்களுக்கு தெரிய மறுக்கின்றனர் என்றும், விரைவில் சுட்டெரிக்கும் சூரியன் உதிப்பான் என்றும் நமக்கு நாமே ஆறுதல் சொல்லிக் கொண்டோம். பூமி நம் கால்களுக்கு கீழே சுழல்வதை நிறுத்தவேயில்லை.

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.
13-ஜூன்-2014.

Never ending chase..

Why is that we are persistent in pursuing something even though we don't see any response from the other side..? Is it because we (think we have) ran out of options ? Or is it because we are so adamant to get what we started for ? Or is it because we always look the uncertainty as a still remaining positive possibility ?

Why is that we do not realize the earth is spinning under our feet while we are chasing something in the fog ? Why is that we forget to look those around us who are pulled against their will because of our never ending chase ? When we know that uncertainty has surrounded as for days, weeks, months and years, how is that we are so certain there will be a positive outcome ?

We know that the options are limitless. We know that there is nothing running before us wanting us to catch. When we don't want to be a hunter, why should we chase at all..? Shouldn't we be just doing our other important things and wait for things to fall in place ?

Paul Arockiam.

13-June-2014.

Change in colors !

These days I see some change in the way I feel about certain things. For example, rude behavior, irrespective of the having affection with the person, puts me off. Looking back, I used to tolerate such behavior and don't take it as a big deal. I used to think, after all it's the person I care about.

But these days, my temperament is different. It might be because of the realization that people are taking advantage of the soft corner you have for them. It is very surprising to see how the progress in financial situations and status changes people. It makes you wonder, 'are they the ones whom you used to know..?'.

I have experience of witnessing upside down change in people's behavior when they get to a different level. What you thought was genuine is no longer the same. May be, they were that way because that used to get them the advantage to move forward. Once you have moved forward, may be the originality shows up. I'm not bothered about their new avatar, the so called originality. What disappoints the most is, you trusted and fall for what they are really not.

Paul Arockiam.
12-June-2014.

Matrimony and it's complications - 3 [continues]..

Soon after I have posted my views on "God Fearing", one of my friend pinged me telling that she read the post and mentioned, "Proverbs 1:7".

"What's that..?", I asked.

"The answer to your post about God Fearing", she said.

I didn't have the Bible handy, so I took a while to search. Meantime, she herself told me what was written in Proverbs 1:7 in Bible.

"Fear of God is the beginning of knowledge"

Yes, it is indeed mentioned like that in Bible. Proverbs 1:7 reads like this,

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; but fools despise wisdom and instruction"

I was amazed how quickly she was able to come up with a quote from Bible for my post. She must have read Bible thoroughly. I couldn't help myself but appreciate her on that aspect. But let's keep that topic aside.

After I read it, I said to her with a smile, "I'm not agreeing with the Bible then".

It must have taken her by surprise. She might not have expected such a statement from me.

"Why..?", she asked.

"I think it must have been 'The love of Lord is the beginning of knowledge'.. Bible needs some revision".

I again asked her, "why should you fear God..? do you like a parent with whom you feel fear..?".

"No", she said.

"That's the answer. Love is the basis", I said.

Paul Arockiam.
11-June-2014.

[ கவிதை ] நிழல்கள்

எல்லாவற்றையும் சொல்லிய பிறகு 

சொல்வதற்கு எதுவும் இருக்கிறதாவென்று 

நாம் வினவப்படுகிறோம் 

சொல்வதற்கு நமக்கு 

நிறைய இருக்கிறது

அவர்கள் சொல்லிய அனைத்தையும் 

சொல்லாமலேயே சென்றிருக்கலாம்

என்பது உட்பட 

சொல்வதற்கு நமக்கு 

நிறைய இருக்கவே செய்கிறது 

நாம் சொல்ல நினைப்பது 

அவர்கள் சொல்லிய எல்லாவற்றிற்கும் 

முரணாக இருக்க போகிறது 

என்பது உட்பட 

சொல்வதற்கு நமக்கு 

நிறைய இருக்கவே செய்கிறது 

ஆனாலும் 

எதுவும் சொல்லாமல் 

அங்கிருந்து நாம் 

விலக விரும்புகிறோம் 

எதுவுமே சொல்லாத

நம் மௌனம் 

அசௌகர்யமான அதிர்வலைகளை 

சூழலில் ஏற்படுத்துகிறது

அவர்களுக்கு 

தேவைப்படவே செய்கிறது 

விரும்பாத போதிலும்

புரிந்து கொண்டதான 

நம் தலையசைப்பு 

நகர முனையும் நம்மை 

தடுத்து நிறுத்த 

கரமெதுவும் நீளப் போவதில்லை

என்னும் சிந்தனை 

சற்றே தடுமாற வைக்கிறது நம்மை 

பிறகு 

அங்கிருந்து விலகி செல்கிறோம்

நிழல் எதுவுமற்று அவர்களும் 

இரு நிழல்களுடன் நாமும் 

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.

11-ஜூன்-2014.

Matrimony and it's complications - 3..

While searching for bride, I happen to notice almost all are looking for a "God fearing" groom. It sounded little weird reading those words, "God fearing". I just felt that the usage itself is wrong.

Why should one fear God ?

I love God.. I like God.. I show respect to God out of Love.. But why should I fear ? Fear is a dangerous thing to have. God is good. He spreads love. He shows kindness and the list goes on and on. For all that, one can love and like God. Why to fear ?

Whenever I pray or go to Church, my conversations with God are very casual in nature. I feel I'm welcomed with open arms and a warm smile. I don't fear. I feel like talking whatever I want. Asking whatever I want. Questioning whatever the way I wish. God has never made me feel that I'm threatened. 

I know some may feel that this post is an over-reaction on a casual usage of words "God fearing". I will tell you why I wanted to discuss this in detail. Basically when you connect yourself with God with fear of His high power, you are tend to get into a state of not able to talk open. You fear His power, and your acceptance about him is the result of the fact that you fear otherwise you will be punished in a way or other. Really that is not the way to go about with God.

It is very easy to explain why one should get connected with God based on Love rather than fear in a simple statement. When there is fear, there is a high probability that one would one day rebel.

Paul Arockiam.
10-June-2014.

Talking about destiny - 2..

When the destiny calls, what will happens if I don't answer the call or reject the same ? What would be the fall back sequence ? I'm getting curious to know.

Will there be a diversion which will eventually lead me to the same destiny just like the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"..? I wish it will be like that. Or will it lead me to a different one ?

Or is it that the different one is what the real destiny and that when destiny calls I can't be not answering or rejecting but accepting the call ?

How does it work ? Really.. How does it work ? I'm getting very curious to know.

Paul Arockiam.
10-June-2014.

Steps to move forward..

The first step is to stop standing.

The second step is to forget that you were standing.

The third step is to create a world of your own while you step forward, ignoring the others walking along you, until you start feeling comfortable within yourself about the progress.

The forth step is.. well, you are pretty much ahead of this line to even read this.

Paul Arockiam.
10-June-2014.

[ கவிதை ] பெயரிடப்படாதப் பிரியங்கள்..

பெயரிடப்படாத உன் பிரியங்கள் 

சில நேரங்களில் 

ஏற்படுத்தவே செய்கின்றன 

சலசலப்பை..

முதுகை மட்டுமே காட்டும் 

இவ்வுலகில்

மலர்ந்த முகத்துடன் நெருங்கும் 

நீ 

எங்கிருந்து வந்தவள்..?

'என்ன வேண்டும்..?'

என்னும் கேள்வியை 

புன்னகையால் எதிர் கொள்கிறாய் 

பிறகு 

'எதுவும் வேண்டாம்'

என்று சொல்லி 

எல்லாம் தந்து செல்கிறாய்..

பெயரிட 
விரும்புகிறேன்..

உன் பிரியங்களை அல்ல 

மனிதர் என்பதிலிருந்து 

விலகி நிற்கும் 

உன் பிறப்பின் வகையை 

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.

10-ஜூன்-2014.

[ Recommendations ] Game of Thrones

If you are a fan of historical war stories, Game of Thrones is a treat you wouldn't want to miss. It is a fantasy war television series. So far 3 seasons have been completed and forth running, I believe.

I have never seen a series with such a bold twist and turns as I have seen in GoT. You are always made to witness the unexpected and go through shock and surprise of how the story is going to move forward. The characters you thought as principal becomes nothing but a temporary glitter on the sword.

It takes a great deal of courage to write a story with such twists to end the characters that you start cherishing and introduce a new one with the hope that you will start liking the newer ones better than the old ones.

The politics, the cruelty, the kindness, the betrayal, the love, the lust, the greed, the determination and what not. I like the series and recommend to those who like war stories. Though it is fantasy war story, it stands close to the reality.

PS: The series has graphical scenes that are disturbing in nature. You are warned.

Paul Arockiam.
09-June-2014.

Matrimony and it's complications - 2..

In the state of uncertainty, decisions are difficult to make. It's not very surprising to see people withdrawing themselves from the conversations or not coming forward to have one at all. It is just disappointing. Thanks to the society and this world for constantly showing it's cruelty at people's door step. Everyone seems to have just scared. The faith in humanity or moral values seems to have lost even though individuals have the same within themselves. It is just that they don't easily trust others. Of course, they can't be blamed.

Having seen so much and experienced so much, now what I need is re-labeling and re-focusing on things. I should take sometime to organize and clearly draw my lines for my future.

Ever since I had put my profile on matrimonial, there were couple of incidents when the climax of "When Harry Met Sally" ran in my mind. Harry's dialog goes like this in the climax, "....And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible". That doesn't mean that I fall in love. It is just that when you realize somebody could be your possible match, you just want the discussions to progress as early as possible. But you see, life isn't a movie. The reality has it's own timing. What I realized is, the need of the hour is, patience.

Paul Arockiam.
09-June-2014.

Notes..

I'm happy that Kavya has come to a stage where she can talk over phone. Respond to questions. More importantly, ask questions :-) Something that I had been longing for quite sometime now. Not able to be around her always made me bit uncomfortable, giving me a feeling that if I could be around i could coach her better.

It's amazing to see how easily children pick up things at such small age. Their innocent questions, sweet teasing, 'don't fear' courage.. Just amazing.

Paul Arockiam.
08-June-2014.

எல்லையற்ற புரிதல்கள்..

புரிதல்களில் உன் உலகைத் தொலைத்து விடாதே. சிலவற்றை புரிந்து கொள்ளாதிருத்தாலே நலம். நீ நல்லவன்(ள்) என்பது அவர்களுக்கு தெரியும் கணத்தில் அவர்களது மனதின் ஓரத்தில் ஏதோவொன்று முளை விடலாம். அது உனக்கு எதிராக பின்னாளில் பயன்படுத்தப்படலாம்.

புரிதல்களுக்கும் ஒரு எல்லையை நாம் நிர்ணயிக்க வேண்டியதாகவே இருக்கிறது. நம் மென்மையான தன்மையை ஆதாயமாக்கிக் கொள்ளும் சில மனிதர்களிடம் இருந்து நம் சுயத்தை பாதுகாத்துக் கொள்ள அது மிக முக்கிய தேவையாக இருக்கிறது. அதீத புரிதல் உள்ளவர்களுக்கு அதுவே ஆபத்தாகிப் போகும் சிக்கல் இருக்கவே செய்கிறது. 

நான் பார்த்திருக்கிறேன். கேட்டிருக்கிறேன். அனுபவித்தும் இருக்கிறேன். அதனால் சொல்கிறேன். புரிதல்களில் உன் உலகம் தொலைத்து போய் விடாதபடிக்கு கவனமாய் இரு.

பால் ஆரோக்கியம்.
08-ஜூன்-2014.